The Sharing Space II. Portrait of an Ideal Dad

A man loving himself and Ms future children enough to heal himself of his past wounds before he chooses a woman to conceive with.

A man nourishing himself by choosing a good woman and committing to a consciously-loving relationship into which to warmly welcome wished-for children.

A man nourishing his woman by speaking total truth, by taking 100% responsibility for his reality, by supporting her highest good as well as his own, by co-creating equally with her the safe nest of home and family.

A man who tells his 8-month pregnant wife how beautiful she is.

A man who creates lullabies to sing to his baby in the womb.

A man who also wants a home birth with a midwife and is completely present during the labor and delivery.

A man who protects children, male and female, from genital mutilation and sexual abuse.

A man who chooses to work half-tune so he can parent half-time.

A man who changes all the diapers.

A man who dispenses with diapers and becomes the Permanent PooperScooper for as many years as it takes.

A man who loves skin-to-skin contact with his babies.

A man who welcomes a family bed.

A man who carries his baby in a Snuggli or a Gerry-pack.

A man who plays the piano with one hand while holding his baby with the other.

A man who kills his television and reads his children stories.

A man who wrestles with his children and always lets them win.

A man who coaches coed sports teams for his children and, when they ask who won, tells them that whoever had fun won.

A man who creates an alternative schooling for children who need it.

A man who will gladly teach and gladly learn.

A man who listens.

A man who says it's okay to cry, or be afraid, or angry, or excited.

A man who can cry, be afraid, and be angry without violence or blaming.

A man who knows that he is the caretaker of Divine Souls who come \"trailing clouds of glory\" from God who is their home.

A man who celebrates his children's differences from him and encourages them to become whoever and whatever they wish to become.

A man who, when the time comes, can let the birds fly the nest and bless them on their way out into the global family.

A man who fathers all children and weeps for the fatherless.

These images are true and real. Such fathers are now among us. Bless them and their fatherhood!

Belden Johnson, Ph.D*

* Belden Johnson lives in Nevada City, California. Tel: 530-265-3737. Email to: .

Report of the Fatherhood Vision Circle, 9th International Congress of APPPAH